American Idol summer in Orlando

American Idol is taking over Orlando's hot sweaty pit-stained summer faster this than those pink pills sneak up on Paula Babadoodles' dancey brain-ball.

July 7th at the Amway Arena, everyone 29 and under will be in line waiting for the chance to sing, sang or suck for the judges. Yes auditions are coming to Orlando! So girls, prep your flat-irons and boys... prep your flat-irons.

On the Broadways
Then from August 25-30, the grey-haired chanteuse Tayor Hicks will go Teen Angel on our asses at the Bob Car Theatre Barn in the touring production of "Grease." You guys wanna camp outside his hotel room with me?

Fake Audition
And as always, you can hit up the fake auditions at the live stage show "American Idol Experience" at the Disney Hollywood Studios (or whatever that bastard-child park is called now). And from what I have heard, if you can sing and are gay, DON"T tell the audience you are gay. You won't win. Or maybe it was just that one audience that one day. Still, don't risk it! Stay in the closet, Orlando.